I was here. I’d finished the interminable, labourious, unmanageable, journey. I opened the gate; it creaked loudly, I stared up at the house, it stared back at me. I swung the door open, dust flew out. Even though I was extremely tired. I started for the search. The kitchen had broomsticks in the corner ;raw meat was on the chopping board with flies feasting greedily on it. It wasn’t here, I moved to the next room.
I hadn’t seen what I was looking for. There was a room with a golden door. I opened it and there it was. And when I opened the cupboard door…
They were there…
Class 11's Blog 
Hello Mosun,
I must say you built your suspenseful story very well and left your readers wondering who was there when you opened the cupboard. I love a good mystery and wondered if you have discovered the wardrobe from the wonderful story, “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”. Well done.
My favourite sentence would have to be…
I’d finished the interminable, laborious, unmanageable, journey.
Well chosen descriptive words can be a powerful aid to help a reader build pictures in their minds. This sentence is one many would have experienced. Again, well done.
I have a suggestion you might use when building tension. While longer sentence carrying great descriptive passages are wonderful, for tension, short sentences can work very well. Here is what I mean…
I opened the gate. It creaked loudly. I stared up at the house. It stared back at me. I swung the door open. Dust flew out.
Have you taken the opportunity to visit the entries of students from other schools? It is interesting to see how others have approached the prompt. Don’t forget to leave them a comment if you do visit. 🙂
You are a good writer with a sense of the power of words. I hope you keep entering the 100WC. Writers need to share the worlds and adventures they create.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia